Talking to others about our experiences, sharing thoughts and emotions can be challenging, especially when you already feel vulnerable. It is hard to expose yourself when you already feel helpless, hopeless and even anxious. A psychologist who asks people, why didn’t you talk to someone about it? often gets similar recurring answers. These answers depict the obstacles that people often face.
“I don’t want to be a burden or ‘depress’ others”:
If you think that sharing your emotions will burden others then you must also consider the followings: Relationships are about give and take and the fulfilment of the needs of all players. The needs of others do not supersede your needs. Today, you might need their support and tomorrow the other might need you. People, who love you, will not want you to feel depressed or be lonely. They will want you to be happy and thus they will want to help you in your hour of need. If they care about you, they will not perceive it as a burden. It will also be helpful if you ask yourself; did I think like that about my friend when he came to me with his problems?
“I don’t want to be criticised, rejected or made fun of.”
This is an easy obstacle to overcome with a little common sense. Make sure you only talk to someone you trust and has your best interest at heart. Additionally, choose to confide in someone who is able to help you. When you choose someone to confide in, think of your past experience with that person and also about his behavioural tendencies in similar situations with others. It will also be wise to make sure the person knows that you come to him in confidence and that what you are about to say is very important and difficult for you to share. Talking about your problems with a true friend in most cases will lead to help and not hurt.
“If I admit that I need help then it also means that I’m weak”
The easiest thing to do is to avoid, ignore and denial. It takes strength, not weakness to ask for help and confront your problems head on. Asking for help implies that you want to make yourself a healthier, stronger and a better person. It means that you want to live the best life possible. The kind of life you deserve but you just need a little help to achieve that goal. Getting support demonstrates courage and self-respect. Remember that we all need support from time to time.
“No one can really understand me”
Many people have a similar feeling and think that they are the only one who has experienced a certain situation or a thought but the truth is that you are not alone. Other people have also experienced similar things. By not talking about it and not sharing your story, you are not exposing yourself to the possibility of discovering that other people have also been in your shoes. If you don’t want to confide in anyone in your environment, go to a psychologist and get professional help or maybe join a group therapy. You will meet there many people who share similar experiences, symptoms, emotions and thoughts. They surely will understand you and be empathetic. You can also learn from them about how they cope in their lives. A support group is a great resource that could help improve your coping abilities. Another point of view could be, how do you really know that others will not understand you, if you never gave them a chance to try?
Even though going to a psychologist or psychiatrist is not a shameful taboo as it was in the past, many people are still afraid and ashamed of revealing their psychological problems. For some, accepting the need of psychological help still endangers their self-esteem and in their perception also social acceptance. If you feel that you need help and that you cannot solve your problems on your own, please go to a professional. Remind yourself that asking for help will assist you to recover that much faster and that you are doing it for our own good. If you have tried everything and it has not worked for you yet, what have you got to lose?